Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Riley Fox – Update

As I wrote on February 25th, it was reported that the defense and the prosecution in the Riley Fox murder case agreed to send the DNA evidence for an independent lab for analysis. That was over 6 weeks ago. Today it was reported that this hasn’t happened yet and the defense team is now asking that the prosecution be held in contempt for their failure to do so. The prosecution team has responded that some sort of mistake had been made but now rectified.

Not exactly the type of thing to engender confidence in prosecutorial competence. One hopes that it’s just a screw-up and not an effort by the prosecution to delay or hide evidence that they know or suspect is not favorable to their case.

Yes, I know, that’s pretty cynical. But this is Illinois…

Monday, April 11, 2005

Week 1 – Victory

A good start for my Fantasy Baseball team, winning the first week. Hey, I have a perfect record! Last year, I didn’t win my first game until the fourth or fifth week. It was close, I won by less than 5 points. But hey, as they say, a win is a win.

Player wise, I had only 2 disappointments, Melvin Mora and Edgar Rentaria, each accumulating only 8 points. Jorge Posada was also a minor disappointment, accumulating only 11 points. I have AJ Pierzynski in reserve – he accumulated 14 points, and I may consider switching them at some point. But with AJ sitting out Monday, I’ll keep Jorge in there for the time being.

On the plus side, Brian Wilkerson garnered 25 points while Brian Roberts (who I wasn’t all that happy to have had drafted for me) garnered 37 points. For pitching, Jason Schmidt was my hero, getting 2 wins and 54.5 points. He was the guy who really put me over the top.

Pickups this week included Kevin Brown and Kris Benson. Though they are both on the injured list, I think both are good gambles. If either one of them works out, I’ll have another mound stud. I also picked up Kevin Millwood who, if the critics are right, is due to have a big year in Cleveland.

And I also picked up Dustin Hermanson. I’m a bit worried about Shingo Takatsu being an effective closer for the White Sox. The hitters started getting to him in the latter part of last year.

So, 1-0.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

A new living will...

A couple of days ago, I received an email, via my brother-in-law, from Mr. John Carter. I think it well sums up the sentiments of the great majority of us regarding the US Congress sticking its nose into the Terri Schiavo tragedy. I reproduce it in it's entirety below. If you enjoy it as much as I did, please send John an email thanking him for his efforts.
Finally, a living will which reflects the (im)practicalities of modern day living.

I, ____________________, being of sound mind and body, hereby grant authority over my handling, should I enter a persistent vegetative state, to the United States Congress pursuant to the following conditions:

1. Congress shall convene for the sole purpose of determining whether or not I should be sustained or allowed to die. A special quorum for this session shall consist of at least 62% of the House of Representatives and 70% of the Senate present and accounted for. Both houses of Congress must each agree, by a simple majority, on the same course of action.

2. In the event of a tie in the House of Representatives, the tie shall be broken by the non-voting representative from American Samoa. If this individual is not available to break a tie, other non-voting representatives shall be called upon in the following priority:

o Guam
o Puerto Rico
o U.S. Virgin Islands
o Washington DC
o A Coin Flip conducted by the youngest present congressman

3. In the Senate, a tie shall be broken by a potato sack race between the eldest Senators for each side of the argument. If one such Senator is a Senator from Idaho, he or she is to be considered to have an unfair advantage and his spot will be passed to the next-eldest non-Idaho Senator. This race shall be no shorter than 50 meters and no longer than 100 meters.

4. If Congress is unable to make a determination based on the conditions set forth above, then the decision whether or not to keep me alive with machines shall fall to the Bush twins. If Jenna is unable to serve in this capacity, then Bjork may cast a vote in her place. If Barbara is similarly unavailable, her vote may be cast by a well-trained parrot of Jenna's choosing.

5. In the event of a tie between the Bush twins (or their aforementioned proxies) then that tie shall be broken by the oldest living descendent of Douglas Macarthur.

6. If neither Bush twin is available to determine my fate, I would like to convene a blue ribbon panel of Dungeons And Dragons players for this purpose. The 12-person panel shall be selected by the United States Supreme Court, and will meet in the rotunda of the US Capitol building. They are to be the best such players currently available (as determined by court-appointed experts). They shall set about determining my fate based on my assorted attributes and several rolls of 20-sided die.

7. If it proves impossible to convene such a panel (or they are split evenly), and I am married, I would like my spouse to make the decision, but not before conducting no fewer than 75 television interviews. Any and all political causes are hereby authorized to co-opt her name and likeness for their own agendas, except the Sierra Club and National Association of Home Builders.

8. If I am unmarried or am married to someone who is unreasonably shy, and I have been determined not to be able to ever communicate again in any meaningful way, then please just let me die.

Brilliant John, just brilliant...

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